losing a bestfriend..

it was his groggy voice that i hear first every morning.. it was him whom i called in between classes to complaint about my lecturers.. it was him whom i turned to whenever i need a shoulder to cry on.. it was ONLY him that i felt comfortable telling my fears, my anger, my doubts, my thoughts, my dreams..but now..there's no more him.. he's gone.. forever i guess..:(

losing him created this huge hole in my heart.. i no longer have that someone to confide to.. sure i have my parents..but its not the same..i can go to my gal frens..but no,it doesnt feel the same either..(sorry, not that i dont appreciate all you all wonderful people out there..u've helped a lot really) i guess this is the danger of feeling too comfortable and complacent with that someone.. coz once he/she is gone..it seems impossible to find a "replacement"..

i still wish my bestfriend is around.. there are times when i secretly pray that he's thinking of and missing our conversations.. we used to talk and laugh for hours.. i believe our connection was really strong(tho he thinks we are very different).. and yes, i miss the arguments too..hehe

now im beginning to think that maybe i am feeling like a wreck because i miss my bestfriend badly.. i miss knowing the fact that he'll always be there to hear me..i know this may be a lil selfish but i just wish that lady understands that a male and female CAN be just friends.. you have him, his heart, but do u have to take my bestfriend away?