mr. unattainable

why oh why do u have to be engaged already?sobs sobs sobs.. i guess all the good guys are taken.. sheesh.. its so susah to find a guy who's as smart as you, soft spoken, family man.. sobs sobs.. guess its your jodoh.. may she makes you happy always :)

the deceiving look

people always misunderstood me to be a career-lady.. as if i don't care about settling down, having a family.. they say the look on my face says it all..my, are they wrong or what?! the 'deceiving look' is just like a shield to protect myself from being seen as so vulnerable la :( i've been hearing this remark all the time.. how i wish i can make them see that NO, career is not the only thing i want out of this life.. only He knows how badly i wanna have a companion by my side, a 'home' to come to, children to look after..

i may not put up a sad look all the time.. takkan la i nak buat macam tu kan? gimme a break.. just because i put up a strong face, doesn't mean i am all that strong.. if u must know, i often cry driving back from work.. because i feel all alone.. and realization begins to hit me that my dream job now, my company is not going to look after me when i get old, or take care of me when i'm not well.. its family.. and i do want a family of my own :(

but up until now, i have yet to be blessed with a jodoh.. i cant possibly mourn all day can i? life has to go on.. i try so hard but to no luck yet.. to the extent now, i'm just gonna let time decide for me.. its tough people..its so tough being a single lady who tries hard to open up to others and yet being crushed at every opportunity.. and i'm sick of men who feel so inferior to what i do for a living.. dude, if i like you, that'd mean i like you for who you are, so tak payah la complicate things and rase inferior..sheesh.. penat ok..sometimes, i am so tired of this heart business.. i'm not giving up..but too much pain can make you so weak.. ntahla, i'm just going to leave it to Him..

*sigh*

my dream job

after almost 7 months working for Petronas, i feel extremely blessed to have a job that i really enjoy doing.. the workload can be pretty stressful, the learning curve very steep but i still love the challenge nevertheless..

when i was younger, i've always pictured myself working with intelligent people and doing something challenging and difficult, where time is everything.. guess i got it :) i'm still very much new to this LNG world.. i'd say i've only seen maybe 15% of it? there are still a lot more to learn, to master..

as of now, my portfolio can be divided into 2 - the plant legal work & the commercial legal work.

when i mention plant, i'm referring to MLNG's liquefaction plant in Bintulu.. what i do is mostly the procurement matters, any legal issues involving the plant work.. this part of my work can be pretty tricky..yes, i get to work with engineers *winks* but communication can be a challenge!haha not to generalize engineers or anything, but they are not as expressive as us lawyers..to get a piece of detail from them macam nak keluarkan emas from their mouth!hehe but i still respect them ( i hated physics when i was in school, mind you!that explains huh?) some of the matters i've handled are very technical, gotta understand how the whole process works..i'm still trying to grasp the overwhelming technical stuff.. and i still havent had the chance to enter the manufacturing area.. hope i get to do it soon! doing plant legal work means i hafta to travel to Bintulu, like once a month.. I love it there..so peaceful unlike KL! no traffic, no hustle bustle.. i pretty much enjoy my trips there, especially now that I have friends to bring around for dinner, Bintulu style :)

commercial side of the business is based here in KL.. currently, i'm looking over India & Southeast Asia market, plus a few from other region like Australia, Spain and Qatar.. what I do is assist in execution of sale and purchase of LNG.. here's where the negotiation, contract risk analysis comes in.. what's more challenging is I usually have very short window to do all these.. tough I must say! protecting company's interest must be a priority, always and always! sometimes, i gotta educate the traders that the terms proposed by the counterparty are not favorable to us and we can't just simply close one eye on it.. sometimes i gotta convince the counterparty that the terms proposed are just unacceptable..hm..i think i need more exposure, training in negotiating i guess.. tiring but still seronok! just love the thrill of it..

i guess i'm very lucky to be given the opportunity to see the whole chain of the LNG business.. from how the natural gas is liquefied, up to how it is delivered to buyers :) i hope i'll be able to stay in this line for a couple more years to get a better exposure :)