no more energy

in the next 72 hours, i'll be facing 3 tests - Criminal Procedure, Jurispridence & Professional Practice + a Civil Procedure hearing on friday morning.. i dunno how am i suppose to handle all these anymore.. after the whole conveyancing drafting last week, i dont think there's any energy left with me.. there's no more will in fact.. i havent even finished studying, yet im online.. i couldnt be bothered anymore.. tired,exhausted and drained out.. a part of me couldnt wait for all these torturing exercises to be over and done with.. but when i think of no job offer waiting, i get all tensed and worried.. all these uncertainties are driving me nuts.. i know im just His servant.. only HE knows what is to come.. i can only hope.. but unaswered questions still bug me.. Ya Allah, show me some shadow of light at the end of that tunnel.. cause i'm so lost without it now..

To : YOU

if you could see this huge hole inside my chest, if you could at least feel half the pain im feeling..

if only.. but no, u're too engrossed in your new life.. i bet u couldnt be bothered.. the pain is back.. i thought tonnes of work will push it away, but i was wrong.. it's still lingering at the same place.. causing this excruciating pain inside my chest.. words cant describe it.. i wish ponstan could get rid of it..but no, no..

lately, im been having second thought about the decision i made with u.. now, im doubting myself.. is this what i really want? one thing for sure, i know what's in my head is NOT what's in my heart.. my heart wants you..my head says no..

people say you cant have everything u want.. what if both things mean a lot to me? *sigh*

almost there..

yup, 2 more weeks of classes followed by 2 weeks of exams and im done being a student! :D

here are some pics with the Class of 2009, Ahmad Ibrahim Kulliyah of Laws

which road to take?

lately i've been contemplating of doing my Chambering.. i know all this while i've dreaded the word chambering..in fact i even called the 9 months experience as a self-degrading experience.. but now.. hm.. afta 4 yrs of reading case law..reading law, i somehow want to get the feel of practising..dont get me wrong, i dont want to practise law.. i mean, not for good..but at least i wanna get my license.. fyi, chambering is a 9 months training in order to be admitted to the Malaysian Bar as an advocate and solicitor..without this qualification, i wont be able to bring a case to court.. my initial plan was just to go into a company and become their in-house lawyer (some may refer it as corporate lawyer).. at least tak yah pening2 sgt or get too stress up abt work..coz what in-house lawyer do is advice on legal matters, negotiate for contracts, draft contract docs.. a simpler way to make money i suppose.. but now, im thinking maybe i should just do chambering anyway.. i can always join corporate world later.. all it takes is 9 months.. it may seem long..but what the heck..im handled 4 years.. whats another 9 months rite?i dunno..maybe i should do solat istikharah.. i need HIS guidance in this

Mr. C, Mr. C

uurgh..u still havent found your way huh? how much longer? despite the fact that i've been busy with studies, u're still on my mind.. im still wondering when will u finally be here.. or will u ever be here??:( the scary thought of not having u around ever lurks in every nite u know.. please tell me that wont happen.. the thought itself sends shivers through my body.. no, i know u're not gonna do that to me.. just please look harder.. and im just right here.. hurry will u?:(

one more month

a week had gone by.. i couldnt believe it's already friday.. my time was pretty much occupied with school works and 2 tests - Public International Law & Criminal Procedure.. on top of that, had to draft Summons in Chambers, Affidavit in Support, a Certificate of Urgency + draft for Order.. yes, very tiring..*sigh* glad i got it over and done with.. now time to catch up on sleep and rest..

im not even going home for the long weekend.. sedey...:( need to get busy with my Professional Practice drafting work.. Tuhan je tahu berape banyak documents nak kene draft!! MORE reason NOT to practise!LOL

believe it or not,i only have a month left in law school.. yer, ONE MONTH, SATU BULAN..! i know that all this while i keep on saying that i'm counting days for it to be over with.. but frankly, i'm scared.. i have yet to receive any call for interview with my dream employer, let alone a job offer.. what luck to graduate in the midst of global economic recession.. and a part of me is rather sad that my time as a student is about to come to an end.. had it really been 4 years? no, 6 and a half years if i were to include my diploma years.. crazy! dah2 la belajar kan? time to make some money..:)

blacked out

as i was waiting to go in for my PP class this morning, i suddenly feel like im on a boat and the current is very strong.. everything was spinning around, i almost lost my balance.. good thing there was this wall next to me which kept me from falling... called my classmate and she helped me get into the class.. am still feeling very2 dizzy.. i dunno why im feeling all these.. had enough sleep, got myself a big breakfast in the morning, and yet i almost fell from the dizziness.. now i know what its like bila org nak pitam..decided to go to clinic after that since i began to feel nauseous.. surprise, surprise, the doc at the clinic told me it was nothing..he even made a joke that perhaps i ate too much for breakfast. F.U.N.N.Y doc! as i had to maintain my composure and not scream at his face, and my head was throbbing, i just gave him a weak smile.. now i understand why my dad is always furious with doctors.. they never take things seriously.. bila org nak separuh mati, baru nak gelabah.. ok2, im cranky.. but i was hoping he'd check me properly, ask about my headache or something.. and btw, he gave me ponstan! thats the medication that the docs here in my uni give away tak kira sakit ape.. i think they must've stockpile of ponstan :p uhh...need to lie down.. headache is getting worse...

stop with the excuses

when it comes to work, or study, i get very serious.. u may see me laughing and cracking stupid jokes, but the minute work@study comes into the picture, i'd be in my serious mode.. and i'd just give my 100% concentration on it.. this happens to be a problem when im in a group.. i know not everyone has the same concentration span or view things as i do, but please.. when u're doing something that involves others, cant u at least try to concentrate or not talk about irrelevant stuff? when works are delegated, arent u expected to get it done and ON TIME? im sorry, but i cant stand people who are always trying to find excuses, blame on having not enough time, yada yada.. come on la.. Allah has bless us all with 24 hours per day.. u have 24 hrs, i have 24hrs.. if u spend your time on something which shouldnt have been a priority, then it is for u to sacrifice your sleep or one way or the other.. DONT, just DONT use not having enough time as an excuse with me.. if u can read novels and complaint of not having enough time with the works, that's called bullshit.. mind my language.. im tired of this type of people.. be responsible! your sad and lame excuse doesnt work with me..