am i not meant to be happy or something?

the past month has been awesome..i was smiling every day, all thanks to u.. but baru je nak happy, i discovered the truth..sheesh.. why is it so hard for me to have the chance to be happy? u really did make a difference..even my parents noticed it..it has been awhile since i smiled that way..tapi sayang..it was only for a month :'( if only u can see how painful this is for me.. what if i dont want to let go..cant u at least give me a chance.. it hurts the way u're acting now..sebak bile tgk u biase ngn org lain, but couldnt even say hi to me :( takkan la senang sgt kut.. :'( i miss YOU..come back please..

numbness

this lil organ called heart is still feeling numb..sakit pun ade..ntah, tak tau la camane nak describe.. its so easy for people to say sorry..and to some, its soo easy to forgive.. i dont see this as a chance of pointing the blame to the other person.. i know it's my own silly mistake.. i shouldn't have played with fire.. now i got no choice but to just suck it all in *sigh* it's still sakit:( but nak buat macam mane.. uurggh..why am i such a fool in this heart business.. im so tired already :'(

again and again

i fell flat on my face again.. every time i think i've found the strength to get up, push myself to "open up" to someone new, i seem to fall flat the next minute.. causing me to be all crushed up inside, leaving another scar, making me losing hope, once again.. i know its just another test from Him.. but every time i have to face this type of test, i think my heart begins to shrink smaller and smaller.. Ya Allah, please...let me continue to have this hope..jangan la Kau tarik perasaan ni altogether.. i still believe in You..and i know You're Fair.. i still believe that there is someone out there for me.. please lemme continue to have this faith until i find that someone..