a year has passed and gone

whoaa..cant believe it has been half a year since i last post an entry..somehow after my last entry, i felt ridiculous letting out too much emotion in here..haha and now, tetibe feel like writing again..fyi, lots of thing have happened in the last couple of months.. now where do i start..



oh yes, i finally completed my LL.B people! finished the exams end of april last year.. got my result in June.. and had my convocation in October:)

1st job --> had a difficult time in choosing where do i start my career.. Alhamdulillah, despite the economic recession, I was blessed with a few job offers.. AG's Chambers, Securities Commission & TM.. I decided to go with AG's Chambers..why?lets just say, i felt it was the right place to be.huhu unfortunately, my posting order was a big shock to me! i was sent to JAKIM as their Federal Counsel. please dont get me wrong, I have nothing against JAKIM really.it was just that i really wanted to be in the prosecution team..thought i'd have such a chance but nope, i was sent to a department which i've never even imagined or heard much about.. there i was thinking, why in the world would they send me there?why?! why?!i dont even have any Shariah background! truth be told, i cried every single nite of my first week there... after realizing that i couldnt possible get out of it, i decided to make the best of whatever challenge that comes my way.. Alhamdulillah, berkat bersabar i realized the importance of the Legal Department there.. I felt guilty for crying, whining, complaining..Allah has placed me in a place where i could directly play a role in developing the implementation of Shariah in this country.. thats free pahala after all.. :)

despite coming to terms with this dugaan, i never stopped praying for Allah to place me in an working environment which best suit me, which would allow me use the best of my knowledge, my capabilities, my energy, my enthusiasm.. deep down, i know i dont really suit this place.. soon enough, Allah answered my prayer.. I was called for interview with my dream employer, PETRONAS! :D

my dream job

after three long and challenging interview sessions, i finally got my dream job!! legal executive in PETRONAS:) dreams do come true people;) we just have to be sabar and have loads of faith in HIM.. not only i got my dream job, i am also assigned under gas business, part of the company which i was aiming for!:) i feel really blessed..i am now the legal exec in Malaysia LNG (thats liquified natural gas) Sdn Bhd, or MLNG for short :D frankly, this part of the business is not something easy, it's very technical. 1st week in the company, i was overwhelmed with all the technical terms used in the agreements - take or pay, demurrage rate, FOB, DES etc.. rase nak nangis pun ade, for i know, in order to be a good legal counsel for the company, i need to really understand the LNG business.. im still taking my baby steps..good thing, i have great colleagues to hold my hands, watch my steps ;) small steps first diyana..

~will update more on my dream job.sleepy, need to get some sleep for the journey back to kl tomorrow..toodles ;P

the final closure

this time it's for real.. it's terribly painful alright, but i believe this is the final closure.. you're now gone for good. i pray the best for u.. sorry i dont have the guts to see you, not even for the last time.. i hope you have thought all these through.. somehow, i feel that your decision is too hasty.. which is so not like you. whatever you do, just please dont put your parents aside..oh well, you know best.. if there's one thing that im really hoping for right now, it's the strength for me to overcome this.. i keep telling myself there's a hikmah behind this great challenge.. Allah is Fair.. HE has a better plan for me.. i just have to keep praying, hoping and being sabar..

no more energy

in the next 72 hours, i'll be facing 3 tests - Criminal Procedure, Jurispridence & Professional Practice + a Civil Procedure hearing on friday morning.. i dunno how am i suppose to handle all these anymore.. after the whole conveyancing drafting last week, i dont think there's any energy left with me.. there's no more will in fact.. i havent even finished studying, yet im online.. i couldnt be bothered anymore.. tired,exhausted and drained out.. a part of me couldnt wait for all these torturing exercises to be over and done with.. but when i think of no job offer waiting, i get all tensed and worried.. all these uncertainties are driving me nuts.. i know im just His servant.. only HE knows what is to come.. i can only hope.. but unaswered questions still bug me.. Ya Allah, show me some shadow of light at the end of that tunnel.. cause i'm so lost without it now..

To : YOU

if you could see this huge hole inside my chest, if you could at least feel half the pain im feeling..

if only.. but no, u're too engrossed in your new life.. i bet u couldnt be bothered.. the pain is back.. i thought tonnes of work will push it away, but i was wrong.. it's still lingering at the same place.. causing this excruciating pain inside my chest.. words cant describe it.. i wish ponstan could get rid of it..but no, no..

lately, im been having second thought about the decision i made with u.. now, im doubting myself.. is this what i really want? one thing for sure, i know what's in my head is NOT what's in my heart.. my heart wants you..my head says no..

people say you cant have everything u want.. what if both things mean a lot to me? *sigh*

almost there..

yup, 2 more weeks of classes followed by 2 weeks of exams and im done being a student! :D

here are some pics with the Class of 2009, Ahmad Ibrahim Kulliyah of Laws

which road to take?

lately i've been contemplating of doing my Chambering.. i know all this while i've dreaded the word chambering..in fact i even called the 9 months experience as a self-degrading experience.. but now.. hm.. afta 4 yrs of reading case law..reading law, i somehow want to get the feel of practising..dont get me wrong, i dont want to practise law.. i mean, not for good..but at least i wanna get my license.. fyi, chambering is a 9 months training in order to be admitted to the Malaysian Bar as an advocate and solicitor..without this qualification, i wont be able to bring a case to court.. my initial plan was just to go into a company and become their in-house lawyer (some may refer it as corporate lawyer).. at least tak yah pening2 sgt or get too stress up abt work..coz what in-house lawyer do is advice on legal matters, negotiate for contracts, draft contract docs.. a simpler way to make money i suppose.. but now, im thinking maybe i should just do chambering anyway.. i can always join corporate world later.. all it takes is 9 months.. it may seem long..but what the heck..im handled 4 years.. whats another 9 months rite?i dunno..maybe i should do solat istikharah.. i need HIS guidance in this

Mr. C, Mr. C

uurgh..u still havent found your way huh? how much longer? despite the fact that i've been busy with studies, u're still on my mind.. im still wondering when will u finally be here.. or will u ever be here??:( the scary thought of not having u around ever lurks in every nite u know.. please tell me that wont happen.. the thought itself sends shivers through my body.. no, i know u're not gonna do that to me.. just please look harder.. and im just right here.. hurry will u?:(