and its official, JINXED again

for how many times, i dah lost count, i'm jinxed AGAIN.. ntah kene mandi bunga 1000x baru ok kut..pffttt. :( i'm shivering rite now. i dunno why..maybe becoz i wanted it to work out so bad. maybe becoz i can see something in him.. but no, he's not feeling it either...now im beginning to question, am i that bad? penatnyer Ya Allah.maybe i should just tutup je hati ni daripada kene crushed like this over and over and over again. :'( ok, im crying.. dammit :'( why am i so weak.. please give me strength..please :'(