the final closure

this time it's for real.. it's terribly painful alright, but i believe this is the final closure.. you're now gone for good. i pray the best for u.. sorry i dont have the guts to see you, not even for the last time.. i hope you have thought all these through.. somehow, i feel that your decision is too hasty.. which is so not like you. whatever you do, just please dont put your parents aside..oh well, you know best.. if there's one thing that im really hoping for right now, it's the strength for me to overcome this.. i keep telling myself there's a hikmah behind this great challenge.. Allah is Fair.. HE has a better plan for me.. i just have to keep praying, hoping and being sabar..

no more energy

in the next 72 hours, i'll be facing 3 tests - Criminal Procedure, Jurispridence & Professional Practice + a Civil Procedure hearing on friday morning.. i dunno how am i suppose to handle all these anymore.. after the whole conveyancing drafting last week, i dont think there's any energy left with me.. there's no more will in fact.. i havent even finished studying, yet im online.. i couldnt be bothered anymore.. tired,exhausted and drained out.. a part of me couldnt wait for all these torturing exercises to be over and done with.. but when i think of no job offer waiting, i get all tensed and worried.. all these uncertainties are driving me nuts.. i know im just His servant.. only HE knows what is to come.. i can only hope.. but unaswered questions still bug me.. Ya Allah, show me some shadow of light at the end of that tunnel.. cause i'm so lost without it now..

To : YOU

if you could see this huge hole inside my chest, if you could at least feel half the pain im feeling..

if only.. but no, u're too engrossed in your new life.. i bet u couldnt be bothered.. the pain is back.. i thought tonnes of work will push it away, but i was wrong.. it's still lingering at the same place.. causing this excruciating pain inside my chest.. words cant describe it.. i wish ponstan could get rid of it..but no, no..

lately, im been having second thought about the decision i made with u.. now, im doubting myself.. is this what i really want? one thing for sure, i know what's in my head is NOT what's in my heart.. my heart wants you..my head says no..

people say you cant have everything u want.. what if both things mean a lot to me? *sigh*

almost there..

yup, 2 more weeks of classes followed by 2 weeks of exams and im done being a student! :D

here are some pics with the Class of 2009, Ahmad Ibrahim Kulliyah of Laws

which road to take?

lately i've been contemplating of doing my Chambering.. i know all this while i've dreaded the word chambering..in fact i even called the 9 months experience as a self-degrading experience.. but now.. hm.. afta 4 yrs of reading case law..reading law, i somehow want to get the feel of practising..dont get me wrong, i dont want to practise law.. i mean, not for good..but at least i wanna get my license.. fyi, chambering is a 9 months training in order to be admitted to the Malaysian Bar as an advocate and solicitor..without this qualification, i wont be able to bring a case to court.. my initial plan was just to go into a company and become their in-house lawyer (some may refer it as corporate lawyer).. at least tak yah pening2 sgt or get too stress up abt work..coz what in-house lawyer do is advice on legal matters, negotiate for contracts, draft contract docs.. a simpler way to make money i suppose.. but now, im thinking maybe i should just do chambering anyway.. i can always join corporate world later.. all it takes is 9 months.. it may seem long..but what the heck..im handled 4 years.. whats another 9 months rite?i dunno..maybe i should do solat istikharah.. i need HIS guidance in this

Mr. C, Mr. C

uurgh..u still havent found your way huh? how much longer? despite the fact that i've been busy with studies, u're still on my mind.. im still wondering when will u finally be here.. or will u ever be here??:( the scary thought of not having u around ever lurks in every nite u know.. please tell me that wont happen.. the thought itself sends shivers through my body.. no, i know u're not gonna do that to me.. just please look harder.. and im just right here.. hurry will u?:(

one more month

a week had gone by.. i couldnt believe it's already friday.. my time was pretty much occupied with school works and 2 tests - Public International Law & Criminal Procedure.. on top of that, had to draft Summons in Chambers, Affidavit in Support, a Certificate of Urgency + draft for Order.. yes, very tiring..*sigh* glad i got it over and done with.. now time to catch up on sleep and rest..

im not even going home for the long weekend.. sedey...:( need to get busy with my Professional Practice drafting work.. Tuhan je tahu berape banyak documents nak kene draft!! MORE reason NOT to practise!LOL

believe it or not,i only have a month left in law school.. yer, ONE MONTH, SATU BULAN..! i know that all this while i keep on saying that i'm counting days for it to be over with.. but frankly, i'm scared.. i have yet to receive any call for interview with my dream employer, let alone a job offer.. what luck to graduate in the midst of global economic recession.. and a part of me is rather sad that my time as a student is about to come to an end.. had it really been 4 years? no, 6 and a half years if i were to include my diploma years.. crazy! dah2 la belajar kan? time to make some money..:)