It has been almost 2 weeks since I discovered about da new love in his life. It hasnt been easy for me..Da nite I found out, I was trembling and crying da whole nite..I know we have broken up.. And it's his right.. I dun blame him.. Yeah, things happen.. This thing with our heart, it is unpredictable. I know that..But I never expected that it'd be this soon for him to fall for sumone new.. I know him.. I know he's not the type to fall for a gurl that easily.. I mean, in less than 2 months!She must be sumthing.. I guess I'm ok with the fact that he's moving on.. But what's killing me is he's acting as if I dun mean a thing to him.. As if I'm so meaningless.. And all the things that we went through the past 6 years..he seems to forget all that.. And that is just excruciatingly painful.. Only God knows how I feel..
I believe everything happens for a reason, a hikmah.. Maybe I'm just too torn apart to realize what it is.. I am trying very hard to move on.. It has been a roller-coaster of emotions for me.. Sumtimes I feel I am so strong that all the pains are healed.. but there are times when I just feel so sick in the stomach, wondering how he has the heart to do this to me.. right before my final year of law school.. the time when I needed him the most:( People change I suppose.. I've been trying to keep myself busy so that my mind wont wander off to him..but hey, I'm just a human being.. The pain still lies deep in my heart.. Nights are the hardest for me.. I guess it has to do with the fact we usually talked on the phone at nights, sharing our days.. He wasnt just my bf, he was my best friend, my confidant.. Losing a bf AND a best friend at the same time is truly difficult.. I guess I just have to swallow all these.. and I keep reminding myself....
God didnt promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,
but He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears and light for the way
L
2 comments:
Hey young lady,
No wonder you posted such a comment in my blog. Did not realise what was going on until I clicked into your blog.
I happened to come home earlier today from visiting my adopted mom in UH, thus this visit to your blog.
You are strong, that is why you have to go through this episode at this exact moment. The test comes just in time...it tells you to concentrate in your final exam and don't forget dear young lady, Allah is there for you.
IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE ALLAH, THEN YOU SHALL HAVE IT ALL...think and ponder upon this, ok?
It means that you have everything.
It's okay to cry your heart out but don't drag this too long. Your future depends on yourself not anyone else.
Just take it like this...
SO WHAT?
HE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!
Feeling better? Hope so. don't worry you would get it over sooner than you think.
Pst, pst! lemme share something with you...
When I was your age, I was fevering when I came to know "someone" I had admired was getting married.
Thank you so much Aunty for sharing.. I really appreciate it:) Frankly, I've stopped crying.. Dont see any reason to let myself suffer anymore.. He's not that great after all rite?LOL I'm a lot happier these days, been making new friends and getting busier with my studies.. All in all, I think I'm ok now:) I'm ever grateful that Allah has given me this strength..
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